Where golf dreams meet questionable decisions.
Professional Golfer (self-proclaimed)
Official Rules of Birthday Golf (Rev. 2026)
Mulligans are permitted, bragging about them is not.
Lost balls must be mourned, not retrieved.
Short game failures are considered “research.”
Talking trash is encouraged at all skill levels.
Birdies are celebrated, doubles are expected.
20-pounders are strictly prohibited after hole 9.
Tee box excuses must be creative and original.
Scorecards are suggestions, not evidence.
Customer Feedback
(Highly Trustworthy, Barely Verified)
“ Voucher rules more official than PGA regulations. ”
Bryson DeChambeau
" Respectfully, this is elite sibling behavior "
Rory McIlroy
Optional Add-Ons (Currently Backordered)
Short Game Upgrade — $999
Includes vague tips, unrealistic expectations, and zero results.
20-Pounder Risk Assessment — $49
Not recommended for those with a history
Lost Ball Insurance — $300
Covers up to 12 balls, excludes water hazards and shanks.
Terms & Conditions
Voucher may be redeemed for one golf round (Covers up to $50)
Voucher holds no expiration because golf is eternal.
Issuer accepts no responsibility for lost balls, lost dignity, or gastrointestinal emergencies.
Equipment changes mid-round are allowed; psychological breakdowns are standard.
Single use only; reuse attempts will be laughed at publicly.
Proper golf attire encouraged; mulligans optional; excuses mandatory.
Tee box excuses must be creative and original.
Scorecards are suggestions, not evidence.
Thank you for being a role model — in faith, in business, and in life. It means more than you know.
May God keep guiding you, strengthening you, and opening doors for you. Here’s to many more years, many more blessings, and many more rounds together.